Plastic surgeon wanted to kill family. How I remember Dr. Bonanno

Ihaven't slept in two days agonizing over what happened to my former friend. I didn't want to write this post feeling I didn't want to seem to profit in any way off this tragedy. But I've been reading rubber stamp comments, jokes and other stuff about Dr.Bonnano so I thought maybe I could put the human behind the story in a bit of a more human nature.
In 2001 I became a Physician Assistant at a prestigious NY hospital. My first job was working the surgery department. Big mistake! Surgeons as a group are some of the most narcissistic assholes on Earth (the men. The female surgeons were wonderful with great patience especially with a brand new PA). Every day was a terrifying experience. Not only did it suck working with these guys in the regular environment but being locked up for 4-8 hours in an operating room with one of these assholes was like an eternity in Hell, getting screamed at because I didn't know as much as he knew in his 20 years of practice, belittling the nurse and actually throwing tools around the room if something didn't go just their way. Rounds sucked because for the smallest thing they would belittle you like a child in front of 20-30 of your colleagues and co-workers.
I hated the damn job and it is my believe that even 19 years later I still think it screwed up my perspective of the job.
There were two bright spots:the Chief Resident who I'll only identify as V and a 3rd year resident named Dr. Matthew Bonnano. He had a great sense of humor, he helped me learn without the slightest discernible pretense, he was a joker always playing tricks, he was in every sort of way one of the nicest, wonderful people I've ever met and although I soon left that Hellhole for a much nicer opportunity I never forgot and always fondly remembered Dr.Bonnano  overthe next 19 years.
I'm literally heartbroken over what happen to my friend. He made it through maybe 8 years of working with monsters, sometimes being awake 36 or more hours in a row without ever showing a moments irritation, or bad attitude.
I grieve for my friend today but thank God he only got as far as stockpiling all that shit. I'm sorry for his child, I'm sorry for his dad ( If he still is with us) who I visited once for a mole on my back and who was so wonderful if we were able to pick our grandfather's I would have he would have been my pick.
Again, I wrote this to show part of the human behind the story and hopefully none of you ever have to learn the same thing about your friends. It leaves you sad, grieved and so damn bewildered you doubt your own memory.
Matt, good luck
Rocco