Thoughts Out Of Season

 In an unprecedented move my reporters have discovered that Elon Musk will step down as CEO of Twittter and be replaced by none other than former President Donald Trump. Suspicions arose when NYPD began condoning off the sidewalks in front of many of NYC's high rises explaining they had been advised by top police brass to expect an " astronomical increase of jumpers " within the next several hours. The city is also quietly increasing the number of operators for the regions suicide hotline by 50,000. NY Governor Hochul tried to downplay rumors as she stood on a railing 86 floors up, visibly upset smoking a cigarette and drinking wine from a box More updates as details emerge

Some asshole just posted to twitter that he was going to shot NYPD officers tonight!

Thumbstrong Twitter user 2 Chainz was arrested at a San Fransisco airport when drugs including marijuana and promethazine, a drug that apparently is an ingredient in the making of another, better drug called "sizzerup". Apparently, by strict coincidence 2 Chainez had used twitter to set the record straight about reports that he had been robbed at gunpoint yesterday in the City By The Bay. Chainz, using twitter denied that he had been robbed the day earlier but then began to extol the virtues of the area's marijuana stating " I didn't get jacked but I got high" . Again, just a strict coincidence that he tweets marijuana one day and is arrested for same the next day.  Similar coincidences have been occurring coast to coast with drug gangs and all other sorts of nefarious imbeciles tweeting and facebooking, sometimes to arresting detail their many exploits and ADL's (Activities of Daily Living).   Maybe he should take some advice from one of my best f...