Thoughts Out Of Season

What do you get when you cross Donnie Osmond, George Michael and a Chihuahua with an attitude? That's right, Justin Bieber! This one-man traveling circus has been entertaining the paparazzi for a while now with his idiotic and moronic antics. Sneaking into clubs he's too young to enter legally (with 600 photographers and 70 bodyguards in tow); take a fan's Iphone and rub it on his crotch; disparaging ex-presidents and , what I think shows his character intimately, being involved in fights daily where he never throws a punch nor ducks one but screams "Hold me back! Hold me back!" fifteen or twenty times before being hustled into an SUV while his bodyguards are left to finish what he started. The boy struts like a gangsta but runs like a rat (a real gangsta would understand the analogy). How long will this one-man-moron-show go on? Who knows? But hey! this is America where imbeciles like Michelle Bachmann are not only elected to public office but despite her gre...

EU ministers, amazed that austerity measures have not lead the 10% GDP growths throughout the European Union have agreed to lessen such measures in an attempt to spur growth in the Union. Growth, measured by Gross Domestic Product has fallen lower than Justin Bieber's dwindling popularity since austerity measures have been the primary focus of debt reduction. Human misery though, as measured by people jumping out windows, consuming barrels of alcohol and downloading millions of internet copies of the Protocol of Zion, have risen higher than a hot air balloon in a hurricane.   Not everyone was happy to hear the news, though. It was reported in a German newspaper that Angela Merkel, Germany's Chancellor and chief proponent of austerity had to be coaxed from a window ledge by staff members wearing masks with the likeness of Ronald Reagan after hearing the news. She was given injections of Haldol and Valium and is now resting peaceably in bed playing gin rummy with George Soros.

Justin Bieber has been taking a lot of heat after apparently not knowing what the word "German " meant while being interviewed on a New Zealand television show . During a sit down moment with the shows host Bieber was asked if it would have made a difference during World War II if the allies had reacted quickly and stopped Hitler at Munich, possibly halting the German advance through Europe and providing an early end to the war. Bieber responded " Well I believe that Hitler's march to war could have been stopped even earlier by crippling airstrikes on his most important infrastructure sites and factories. And by the way what's German? We don't use that word in America".