Breaking News: North Korean Launch
It has been reported through the AP that North Korea launched a missile in the direction of the United States late last night. The missile, a 2 ton rock fired from the world's largest catapult landed approximately 200 yards away from the launch site crushing a small home and the 3 occupants inside. "It is a glorious day for the people of North Korea" proclaimed the country's leader Kim Jung-un as he feasted on a dinner of duck and haldol. "The Americans should take this as a sure sign that they are not immune to retaliation and should proceed carefully with any further sanctions". The Swedish Ambassador, speaking from an underground bunker wearing a Dallas Cowboy football helmet stressed the importance of restraint on both sides during these perilous times, " It is wise for both sides to come to the table and talk so as to avert an escalation of hostilities". American officials declined to comment but a source close to President Obama stated, throu...