Thoughts Out Of Season

Alabama Police: Be On The Lookout For Satan (all points bulletin) for a suspect they believe is responsible for an uptick in homicides so far this year. The suspect is described as between 8-10 feet tall with fiery red eyes, enormous strength and the ability to appear and disappear at will. They believe the suspect was lured to the town after church leaders noticed drops in church attendance and especially donations. Opps police have been further armed with sub machine guns, garlic and crucifixes to where over their uniforms. One officer who who spoke to this reporter on condition of confidentiality said "give me a flame thrower, a truck of garlic and six priests from the Vatican I'm running like Hell if I see this guy". More to follow

I think that Kim Jong un has become on of the world's biggest pain's in the ass. Every time some little fourteen year old school girl catches his eye he pretends to go on the warpath in hopes she will  become so enamored with him, that she'll, in Rod Stewart's famous words, "spread your wings and let me cum inside". He has been known to go to great lengths to impress the ladies. For example, one night Shin mi up, a local high school sophomore was sitting with Kim watching  a biography of Pope John Paul II when the camera crew panned the gold leafed Sistine chapel. Shin, impressed by the beauty of the place crooned "wow, what a beautiful building". Turning around she saw Kim's face flush with anger. A moment later Kim demanded a telephone from one of his emaciated servants, Telephone  delivered, Kim propped it up in his lap and dialed the operator. The following conversation, translated into English for our American readers went something like thi...