Thoughts Out Of Season

It's surprising how little news regarding the ongoing financial dilemma afflicting many member-countries of the European Union. Just months ago it appeared that Europe and its continent-wide Union was coming apart at the seams. Riots where taking place in Ireland, Italy and especially Greece where the country's demise was being predicted by anyone who could hold a mic or pummel a computer keyboard. But what now? Have the EU's troubles been overshadowed by recent events perpetrated by the imbeciles that make up the United States government? Have austerity measures, beyond all odds worked leading Europe into a new era of prosperity that has brought a feeling of quiet contentment to the Union's suffering people? Not on your life! What is occurring right now throughout many countries in the EU is a collective sense of despair brought on by an extended period of economic downturn leading to widespread joblessness, food scarcity and a descent into poverty that has caused a d...

EU ministers, amazed that austerity measures have not lead the 10% GDP growths throughout the European Union have agreed to lessen such measures in an attempt to spur growth in the Union. Growth, measured by Gross Domestic Product has fallen lower than Justin Bieber's dwindling popularity since austerity measures have been the primary focus of debt reduction. Human misery though, as measured by people jumping out windows, consuming barrels of alcohol and downloading millions of internet copies of the Protocol of Zion, have risen higher than a hot air balloon in a hurricane.   Not everyone was happy to hear the news, though. It was reported in a German newspaper that Angela Merkel, Germany's Chancellor and chief proponent of austerity had to be coaxed from a window ledge by staff members wearing masks with the likeness of Ronald Reagan after hearing the news. She was given injections of Haldol and Valium and is now resting peaceably in bed playing gin rummy with George Soros.

In a press conference from deep inside the bowels of Hell, Lucifer congratulated Euro zone members for austerity measures that have kept the pits of Hades constantly ablaze with the addition of new souls . "I myself could not have dreamed up a more perfect scenario. Why I'm having to pay my lower devils double and triple overtime just to keep up with the new arrivals each day". The Devil said that austerity measures heaped on countries like Spain, Greece, Portugal, Italy, etc... have made the Zone a veritable "hell-on-earth". "19 million people out of work, a quarter of the population under 25 jobless, grinding poverty, no growth in the economy, no hope of things getting any better. All these combined should keep Me running at top capacity for years to come!". When asked if He had eyes on those that have insisted on pushing these austerity measures, the King of Darkness responded, "In the end I'll get them. They'll be much more fun. Why? ...