Thoughts Out Of Season

Alabama Police: Be On The Lookout For Satan (all points bulletin) for a suspect they believe is responsible for an uptick in homicides so far this year. The suspect is described as between 8-10 feet tall with fiery red eyes, enormous strength and the ability to appear and disappear at will. They believe the suspect was lured to the town after church leaders noticed drops in church attendance and especially donations. Opps police have been further armed with sub machine guns, garlic and crucifixes to where over their uniforms. One officer who who spoke to this reporter on condition of confidentiality said "give me a flame thrower, a truck of garlic and six priests from the Vatican I'm running like Hell if I see this guy". More to follow

Rumors are swirling in Hades that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight breakfast at the White House just prior to the announcement of his deal with Iran. Unnamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was described as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a blood-red skin complexion. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfa. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince" written in crayon.

Rumors are swirling in Hades and throughout the World that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight brunch at the White House just prior to the announcement of the President's upcoming  deal with Iran. Unamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was describes as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a complexion resembling a cross between Charles Manson and OJ Simpson. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfur. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Maciavelli's "The Prince" with a forward by Fredrick Nietzsche.White House officials were quick to respond calling the rumors "absurd". One staffer, Barvetta Singletary told the assembled press " Come on. That's so stupid. Everyone knows that only head...

Who ever is advising this guy Eric Snowden either does not have his best interests at heart or doesn't understand the current political environment in the United States. The Republican Party has such a visceral hatred of President Obama that they would embrace Satan himself if in doing so they could score points against the current administration. So Eric, don't drive yourself crazy running around the world from one dismal country to the next, come back home and face the music and don't worry that much because the GOP will have your back.