Thoughts Out Of Season

Police in Yorktown, NY are looking at the possibility that junior members of the terrorist group ISIS, also known as MM-ISIS or Mini Me-ISIS,drew first blood on American soil when they found a beheaded goat and other dead dairy and poultry animals scattered around a local reservoir This reporter shot right over to the scene but was kept from approaching by police but I did speak to a local man, a butcher who works around the corner from where the carcasses were found and this is what he had to say: " I tella the police thata the animals fell offa the truck while we were making a delivery but he tella me go home and minda mine own abusiness". Yorktown police have called in members of HomeLand Security to assist in the investigation. Further details to follow http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/08/26/beheaded-goat-other-dead-animals-found-in-yorktown/

A Deming, New Mexico was put through a 14 hour rectal exam by police after he was pulled over for going through a stop sign. Police on the scene became suspicious when a drug sniffing dog seemed to indicate that there was drug residue on the seat where the driver had shortly before been seated. Police at that time also seemed to notice that the driver was "holding his butt checks squeezed together". That was all the evidence  police needed. The driver was taken to a local hospital where they demanded of the medical staff that they perform a digital inspection of the driver's rectum. The doctor in charge, described by one of the officers as "a pinko, commie tree hugger, Obama lover" refused to go along with the officers on the absurd grounds that such an exam would be "unethical". Rather than shoot the doctor dead for his seemingly hostile answer to their request police than transported the man to another hospital where staff was more accommodating ...

Photo Above shows no refusal draws in Georgis From the great states of Tennessee and Georgia comes a new law to combat DUI, CID and EI-EI-O. It's called the "No Refusal" blood test. You see, your driving down a street when you come to a police checkpoint. An officer peers through your window to determine if there is cause to think your operating your vehicle under the influences. If he determines that you are one of the 5% of those who have nothing to hide, like let's say your brother is a cop in the same jurisdiction, he will let you go. If not you will be asked to pull into a parking lot. Once there you will be ordered out of your car by several officers dressed in combat uniforms and ordered to commit to series of sobriety tests including moonwalking a la Michael Jackson, rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time and doing hand over hand cartwheels. During these tests if you should so much as grunt, slip or wince, one or a dozen of the helm...

It was reported today by the Macon Journal that up to 200 people were forced to act as "fillers" at a pro-gun rally in Macon County, Georgia this weekend. It is alleged that the rally's organizers, who had invited several local television stations to the rally became distraught when organizers counted only 12 attendees in the audience (this number did not include 2 bulldogs and billy goat in attendance). Organizers, concerned that the low audience numbers would reflect badly on themselves and their cause decided to dispatch several deputies to scour the surrounding area and bring back "anything with 2 legs and a pulse". The deputies, many of them armed, fanned out throughout the area collecting a hodgepodge of 200 mostly reluctant and frightened people to act as mannequins for the afternoon's festivities .For two hours they were forced to sit through a half-dozen speeches with titles like "Why Guns are More Important than Oxygen?"; "" Ob...