Thoughts Out Of Season

There once was this gentleman who was so full of fright one night that neither sleep nor being awake offered any comfort.you see he had no money to buy food for his family. He was afraid that if he went to sleep he was sure to be awakened by the baby's cries for food. He was also afraid to stay awake because every moment he expected to hear the baby's cries for food. So he reached out to a friend, a friend he has known for a long time. He told her of the difficult position he was in and how frightened he was at the moment. She responded with what amounted to an order, "Meet me by the Shell station at 8 A.M. we're going shopping". At a loss for words the man meekly whispered "thank you" and sat down in the chair and spent 7 hours watching the clock and praying his child did not wake from hunger. After 7 excruciating hours she called to say she was by the bridge and would be at the meeting point in 5 minutes. The man, who initially was going to go alone, b...

Self proclaimed ambassador to North Korea Dennis "Worm" Rodman chastised President Obama for not giving Korean dictator and all around nice guy Kim Jong un a call to try and diffuse tensions between the two countries.The North Korean leader tried to explain to Rodman,  "Dennis, I don't want to do war. I like be leader. I have electricity, I have Internet, I have lot of food. It is good to be leader. If I do war, yes 3 or 4 Americans may die but then I be leader of country that is all flat and smoking, no Internet, no electricity, no food. I will have to live then like all the rest of the people in my country, miserable and starving". Apparently Rodman, who graduated college Magna Cum Moron could not see that the North Korean leader was not voicing another bluster of war but was actually begging Rodman to intercede between the US President and himself before a squadron of B52's came flying over his country dropping loads of metal designed to restor...