Thoughts Out Of Season

  Just a friendly warning to the Islamic Regime. Think long before even placing a finger on this guy. He has entered into all of our hearts. If you dare touch a single hair on his head there will be an uproar the likes of which you have never seen before and never dreamed! Leave him alone. Don't try us! We are 8 billion strong! Don't even think about it

Iran, considered one of the most sour-pussed countries on the face of the earth, has proposed legalizing marijuana for sale and consumption . Surprising for a country where anyone who is even suspected of having a good time is subject to public lashing. The country began considering the new law after the supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei hitched a ride with 3 Dutchman driving a 1969 Volvo van after his car broke down. Upon arriving at his destination Khamenei surprised both his handlers and passerby by exiting the vehicle and exclaiming "Man it's so damn bright out here", the first time he was ever heard to speak the English language. Talks soon began in parliament which was overseen by the Grand Ayatollah while munching on a 10 piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. One lawmaker stood up to denounce the proposed legalization as "Un-Islamic" ( he leaves behind 12 wives, 48 children and a cockerspanial named Rocky). Things went pretty smoothly thereafter. ...

Rumors are swirling in Hades and throughout the World that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight brunch at the White House just prior to the announcement of the President's upcoming  deal with Iran. Unamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was describes as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a complexion resembling a cross between Charles Manson and OJ Simpson. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfur. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Maciavelli's "The Prince" with a forward by Fredrick Nietzsche.White House officials were quick to respond calling the rumors "absurd". One staffer, Barvetta Singletary told the assembled press " Come on. That's so stupid. Everyone knows that only head...

President Obama's State of the Union Address  was notable for several things: 1. Efforts to contain or slow climate change. This is a hot button issue in the United States as thoughts about it's causes and alleged progression run clearly down party lines. Republicans denounce it as a tool used by the pinko, tree hugging left to keep the United States dependent on foreign oil for the future; Democrats see climate change as a future significant threat to the globe and accuse Republicans of stymieing efforts at  curbing climate change so that their big oil donors will keep reaping record profits from the sale of oil and gasoline. Conclusion: no politician is really going to stick out his/her neck on an issue that may not cause any significant disruption to the globe in 40-50 years. Their chief concern, both Democrat and Republican is  garnering enough votes to get reelected in 2 or 4 years so you'll end up seeing a lot of kicking the can down the road on this issue 2. I...