Thoughts Out Of Season

It appears to the world that the only way to prosper in the US government is to be third rate, moronic, misogynist not to mention paranoid, avaricious and downright stupid. Look at the events of just the past week or so: A House of Representatives member tries to bolster arguments against abortion by revealing he has seen fetuses as young as 15 weeks performing "purposeful actions"while reviewing the ultrasounds of pregnant women. These purposeful actions? Masturbation! Never in US history has a Farm Bill been voted down. What is a Farm Bill? It's a welfare handout or, if you like, a bribe paid to US farmers to ensure they do what they do: Farm! And why was the bill killed? Because a group of Republican House members tried to include in it a provision to cut $20 billion from the Food Stamp program which helps the poor in getting food to eat. Republicans knew from the start that no Democrat would ever vote for such a provision thus sabotaging the bill from the star...

English teacher Mark Grist h as quit teaching to pursue a rap career after beating a 17 year old at a rap contest. Mr. Grist beat 17 year old MC Blizzard with the following rap: Your face is very hairy Looks like my sister's canary Yo mama smells like a shit Yo sister I would not hit If I hadn't had a women Since John Gotti's Last Big Hit. Yo rap is as stupid As yo mama's bush is putrid You say that you can rap But  you so ugly you couldn't catch the clap This was just part of the winning rhyme that went on for twenty-six further stanzas. Mr.Grist hopes to team up with Dr.Dre and Snoop Dog in the future. Says Mr. Grist "Yo ain't spent good times till you hears my rhymes"