Thoughts Out Of Season

It has been reported in various news outlets that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was arrested following a dispute at his family's tanning business in New Jersey. But this reporter has dug up the real reason the Jersey Shore Alumni was arrested and it had nothing to do with a dispute at a tanning salon nor did it even occur in long Island. Sources close to the investigation say the Italian playboy was arrested by officers from the 45 prescient in the Throggs Neck section of the Bronx. Sources state that Mr.Sorrentino entered a local espresso shop and asked for an iced espresso. The elderly man behind the counter, eyes narrowed responded, "Hey this is a no Star-a-bucks, we no make espresso like-a that. You want a bull-a-shit drink like-a that you go over there". Mike, trying to keep calm asked if he just throw a few ice cubes in his drink. The proprietor now crimson and with narrowed eyes shot back, "how would-a you like it if I stick a few ice cubes upp...

A concerted effort by Michigan Republicans to force every last black person out of the City of Detroit has taken an ominous turn that has sparked outraged from Spain to Canada.  Frustrated Republican lawmakers and elected officials have tried everything, from replacing much of the City's police force with cheaply made scarecrows, replacing streetlamps with wood burning lamps shaped like crosses to turning over the Department of Social Services to recently paroled members of the Alabama Tea Party. All this to convince the City's African American to scram ( in a case of misguided cultural attack, officials ordered the closure of every chicken joint and Chinese take-out in the City). But the proud last residents of the Motor City refused to knuckle under. Bravely they fought indignity after indignity with pride and a grit that caused every state GOP member to question his faith in God, Capitalism, and his preconceived notions of black ...

I remember working as a medic and getting a call for a seizure patient. The engine company got there first. As me and my partner were walking up the stairs we met the engine company on the way down. The supervisor say to me ” yeah, it was a seizure patient. He’s post-coitus right now”. I answered “The patient is post coitus?”. He answers “yeah, he had a seizure and he’s post coitus”. I answer ” Post coitus is the cigarette you have after laying down with your wife. The patient is postictal”. He answers “Hey, what the f*ck do I know. I’m a fireman”. 15 years later and I still laugh out loud when I retell this story.

Reports coming in that Peter O'Toole, legendary actor has died at the age of 81.

MERS-CoV is a novel virus that first came to the attention of the medical community in 2012. A relative of the SARS virus, MERS- CoV attacks its victims lungs and kidneys with a ferocity that leaves SARS in the dust. Of the 168 people confirmed to have been infected with the virus 68 have, a mortality rate of an atrocious 42.5% compared with SARS relatively "benign" 10% mortality rate. Now most will say "Come on! Why bust chops over something that has only infected 160 people! More people than that get f*cked up picking up pennies they find on the street each day!'. Well here's why I'm so concerned. For one the mortality rate of this thing is horrible. Out of every 100 people that become infected 42 die. There's also the problem of this disease not being on many practitioners radar so most likely the first indication that the disease has arrived in a community is when people start dropping like flies. I also have a great concern that the medical esta...

It is now a week since Typhoon Yolanda struck and decimated parts of the Philippines with a savagery unequaled in history. At this time over 3000 people have been confirmed dead, 12,000 injured and hundreds of thousands now in conditions so miserable that some have voiced envy for those that have died. Food and clean water are practically non-existent in many towns. There are no medical services. People have been forced to shelter in the open air amid piles of rubble and the decaying bodies of their loved ones scattered nearby.  Such are the images and stories we have received just from the city of Tacloban, one of the many areas that bore the brunt of Yolanda's savage winds and accompanying storm tide. One could imagine that if  the citizens of Tacloban  receiving worldwide, 24 hour attention  are in such dire straights what could be the situation in the the hundreds of towns and villages also devastated by the storm but unheard of up to now?  It is in my ...

A researcher at Brock University in Ontario has found a correlation between low IQ's , conservative ideology and racism. Children with low intelligence were more likely to hold prejudiced views as adults. They were also more likely to be pro-gun, hoard food in expectation of the End Times, vote Republican and join groups such as the Tea Party. Oddly, many of them professed to having a best friend who was African American.