Thoughts Out Of Season

So Mitt Romney looks to be doing well at the primaries? He's charismatic, looks good and is a Mormon. Imagine if he's elected and passes a law that all American men must have more than one wife. That would be...would be... Great Caesars Ghost! Hey Abbott! Jumping Butterballs! More than one wife! Imagine,2,4,10 wives along with 2,4,10 mothers-in-law! And multiple brothers-in-law most of which will probably be looking to borrow money off you! Beware American Man, theoretically it could happen. I mean, look at Bring-em Young, grandfather of the Mormon faith, he had fifty-six. Yes, he lived to a ripe old age. Why? Those fifty-six hounds wouldn't let him die. He probably wanted to. Just now I bought an open ended airline ticket to the Canary Islands. This guy gets elected I'm running for cover at least until I know the coast is clear. BTW. Who names their kid Mitt? A frustrated minor league player?

Sorry, can't give you the whole scoop on the story but apparently something unprecedented in American radio occurred recently. Rush Limbaugh apologized to someone! Again, sorry I can't give anymore info because immediately after hearing the words "Rush apologized" I fell into such a swoon that hours later I'm still unsteady on my feet. Did he call the Pope The Anti-something? Did he run over an old woman in a parking lot? Pass gas on the air? I really don't know and don't care to know what he apologized for. The fact that he did it is what astounds me. It reminds me of what someone once said about a dog walking on its hind legs " he may not do it well but your amazed he can do it at all".

 Imagine a country supposedly so advanced as the United States that allows religion to have the slightest impact on politics. It must be the fact that three-quarters of our population are utter imbeciles that can't rely on themselves,but need the hope of the beyond as a salve for their dreary, forgettable, hum-drum lives . Want to see how people live in lands based on religion, try taking a look at such other countries as Iran. Iraq, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, or states like Tennessee, etc, where people live their lives adhering to ghost stories that should have been put to rest the moment man began to paint on cave walls. Would you like to live in one of them? By grace, no you wouldn't, gosh no. Imagine a supposedly intelligent race of beings believing in such bunk. You  tell me " They speak the Truth" (whatever the hell that is)!Then: If true then how do you explain atro...

Do the Muslims scare me? No. It is the American reaction that both frightens and disturbs me.Why? Because there are millions and millions of people who have been chaffing under the rule of cruel dictators and rulers finally getting the chance to be heard, to fight, die for freedom, and what concerns us? How these protests, these yearnings to be free are going to affect us. The residents of the  Home of the Free and Land of the Brave are acting like a bunch of frightened weasels. "Is the Muslim Brotherhood going to take over"? "Are they going to revive the Caliphate and try to take over the world"?. A close friend of mine was freaking today because , according to him the Saudis "are not going to sell us oil anymore because we did not back Murabek". When I kindly reminded him that a great majority of the men who brought about the 9/11 disaster were Saudis, he said "that's a different $#%^ing thing". Imagine Americans frightened at the thought o...

Yesterday's surprise announcement of  the imminent onset of the Second Coming of the Messiah set  off a furious scramble by Republican funded lobbyists to beseech the world's religious leaders to act on their behalf and to petition the Lord in delaying His arrival until after the coming mid-term elections. Republicans, fearful the the event would  shine positively on the Obama administration have charged the lobbying firm, We Screw You But Not US with the task of pleading their case to The Pope and others of his stature and ilk. John Slafe, CEO of the aforementioned lobbying firm,  sweating profusely while waiting on line at the Vatican seemed both excited and confident that his firm's efforts would be instrumental on  pushing back the upcoming Heaven on Earth for at least a few months, was quoted as saying " Of course I'm confident that the Good Lord will hear our pleas. He is kind, compassionate and and always open to reason. Besides", Mr. Slaf...

Come on guys, give the man a break! If you suddenly found your pocket had been picked or that the girl at the checkout counter had siphoned off a few bucks of your change to her boyfriend standing nearby, you would certainly not be able to stop yourself from letting out an involuntary yelp of protest. And that was just what Rep. Joe Barton did when he found out the feds were hitting up British Petroleum for $20B and thus possibly siphoning away some of the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars that such companies donate to his campaign each election cycle. Of course he was outraged. And I can understand. I mean last week while going over my pay stub I found that my employer had shafted me out of 3 hours of overtime. Without even realizing it, I let out a more than audible whisper to the effect "The dirty m...". I couldn't have helped it if I knew the Pope and three of his sister disciples were standing next to me. Now although I raised a few eyebrows I wasn...

Maunuel Zelaya , President of Honduras was given the bum's rush to Costa Rica in a military coup d'e te just before a referendum that would have extended his presidency beyond its one year limit. "I am the President of Honduras " yelled Zelaya to a shocked group of Chinese tourists waiting on line at a Costa Rica McDonald's as local security officers attempted to lure him back into his hotel with a frozen margarita laced with Haldol and a bikini clad senior with bleached blond hair. Reaction around the world was quick "It's those damn Kennedy's again" cried Fidel Castro, self appointed patron saint of Cuba. Venezuelan President for Life Hugo Chavez decried the blatant uprooting of democracy, crying "we will bring democracy back to Honduras if I have to kill every man,woman and child in the country". New York City's mayor Michael Bloomberg (currently in the process of seeking an unprecedented third term) appeared visibly s...