Thoughts Out Of Season

Kayne West was madder than an alcoholic without a can opener recently. It seems that Kayne dropped over unexpectedly at the Kardasian house and was met at the door by Bruce Jenner. Now Bruce, who had only met Kayne once and didn't recognize him welcomed him in the home and said something like "just the furniture needs a little polishing and the rugs need to be vacuumed. Kayne, not thinking anything of it grabbed a rag and started on the furniture. It took about ten seconds to realize what was going on. According to sources who would not reveal their names out of fears they'd be fired, Kayne turned around angrily and said "Hey you!Yeah you, ya plastic-faced looking motherf---er,I aint come here to dust no fu--in furniture!". With that Jenner threw his hands up in the air and said "Oh my God it's a robbery! Everyone cooperate! Give the man what he wants and he'll leave us alone!" Kanye West, shaking his head in disbelieve shot back at Jenner, ...

Rumors are swirling in Hades that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight breakfast at the White House just prior to the announcement of his deal with Iran. Unnamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was described as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a blood-red skin complexion. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfa. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince" written in crayon.

Imagine, refugees leaving a Muslim country to try their luck in a land so broke that its people thank God oxygen is free? T urkish police today rounded up hundreds of Syrian and other refugees as they tried to embark on a journey to Greece. I found this incredible at first but after thinking about it a while I'm starting to understand it. These refugees are not leaving their native Muslim countries because of war and strife. They are leaving because, to tell it bluntly not even Muslims want to live in Muslim countries. Why else would these people want to leave Turkey for a country that their patron saint, Angela Merkel left so poverty stricken that its people consider an invasion of locusts a boom for the country's food supply? All I can say is this whole Middle East thing gets more complicated by the day and there appears no end in site.

A Deming, New Mexico was put through a 14 hour rectal exam by police after he was pulled over for going through a stop sign. Police on the scene became suspicious when a drug sniffing dog seemed to indicate that there was drug residue on the seat where the driver had shortly before been seated. Police at that time also seemed to notice that the driver was "holding his butt checks squeezed together". That was all the evidence  police needed. The driver was taken to a local hospital where they demanded of the medical staff that they perform a digital inspection of the driver's rectum. The doctor in charge, described by one of the officers as "a pinko, commie tree hugger, Obama lover" refused to go along with the officers on the absurd grounds that such an exam would be "unethical". Rather than shoot the doctor dead for his seemingly hostile answer to their request, police than transported the man to another hospital where staff was more accommodating t...

                                                    Cook County's sheriff's office Gang banger Corey Morgan was arrested for the execution-style murder of Tyshawn Lee, a 9 year old boy who had been lured into an alley and shot point-blank in the head and back . It seems Morgan was trying to send a message to one of the boy's relatives, himself a gang member.  Activists were quick to respond ".........". Well to tell the truth there were not many activists to be found except the poor kid's mother and some City officials. What the f--k does that tell you?!

The media is having a field day busting Donald Trumps balls over whether Muslims in America celebrated the attacks on the World Trade Center. As for me, I didn't see any maybe because I was there providing medical care to other first responders. Why don't we ask The Washington Post or CNN . At the same time why not ask about the difference between celebrating and murderous Muslims? Why not ask Hillary?

Why would Turkish officials shoot down a Russian fighter plane that wandered into its airspace for a grand total of 17 seconds? Could it just be a case of schizophrenia coupled with hubris? Someone trying to put a scare into Putin (LMFAO!)? A suicide pact between high ranking Turkey officials? Most laughable, Turkey's membership in NATO where "an attack on one is an attack on all" including the United States led by a president who still fears monsters in his closet? We'll never know but one thing is sure Turkey screwed itself big time . How?: * Turkey is Russia's 2nd largest trading partner. *Russian tourists visit Turkey to the tune of 2.9 million a year spending over $3 billion. *Turkey gets 50% of its natural gas and 30% of its oil from Russia. *Turkey exports billions of dollars in agriculture and other food products to Russia each year. * Souring relations could cause Turkey to suffer a 10% or more drop in GDP if Russia got really pissed at them and...

Donald Trump, the frequent target of a media posse that would dig to China to find something on him is under fire for using an elephant at a rally which is owned by a man convicted of animal abuse. Trump had no comment about the animal but did confess to once using a pen that belonged to Charles Manson's 14th cousin Marilyn to sign a lease at Trump Plaza in New York. Said Trump "I asked if someone had a pen and some creepy looking guy handed one to me. I had no idea who he was related to". "Since that time" Trump said" I use only pencils that haven't been sharpened yet, just in case"

Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan now says that he is deeply "saddened" by his country's downing of a Russian fighter plane that entered Turkey's airspace, zipping around for 17 long seconds several days ago. This is in contrast to the statement he made approximately 17 hours ago warning Russia " not to play with fire" by interfering in Syria's civil war. According to unnamed insiders from the Turkish government Mr. Erdoban awoke just a few hours ago with a terrible hangover. Staff advised him of the comments he had made before passing out at a Hooka Bar in downtown Istanbul. Mr. Edrogen's response was "I SAID WHAT!!!!!" "Are you f--king kidding me!". Turkey's President then chased down the first journalist he could find and begged him to report of his "sadness" regarding the downed Russian plane. The reporter tried to explain to the President that he worked for the satirical newspaper The Onion. Erdoge...

Photo compliments Associated Press Chaos erupted at Zimbabwe's Mr.Ugly Pageant following claims the this year's winner, Mison Sere, wasn't ugly enough to unseat the reigning title holder, William Masvinu.  The pageant, in it's 4th year judges contestants on such qualities as "Can scare animals out of the forest", " Not even his mother could love him", "The doctor slapped both his mother and him" erupted after supporters of Mr. Sere claimed that Masvinu was chosen only because of lack of dental care which gave many the impression of an old, rusted picket fence when he smiled. "I'm much uglier than him. Only when he opens his mouth is he ugly" pined Mr.Masvinu who not only complained about the loss of the pageant but also the $500 that goes to the winner. Sere responded " He's only jealous because I'm uglier than him". Officials state that due to the events surrounding the Mr. Ugly pageant security will ...

Police in Chicago announced the arrest of a 9 year-old boy shot to death in Chicago. No he wasn't some innocent bystander caught in the crossfire while walking to school or at a play ground. NO! This child was lured into an alleyway and EXECUTED, shot in the face and in the back by some miscreant as retaliation for a family member who is a gang member. You would think such a heinous act like this would have caused an uproar with people marching in the street, blocking traffic, demanding something be done? Not a damned chance. But let some guy with a rap sheet long enough to wallpaper your house get shot by some cop and all of a sudden the community is under attack, so called "activists" come out of the woodwork, create nifty sounding #groups, and uproar and chaos is created. And this ain't coming from some white dude living in a mansion in Scardsdale,  in his parent's basement listening to AC/DC blaring from a $10,000 dollar sound system while playing video ga...

A person hopped the fence at the White House just a little while ago and was quickly apprehended. Early reports that it was Marc Rubio discounted by authorities stating the fence was too high for Lil Marc to get over

Reports coming in state hostages being held in town of Roubaix, France w ith shots being fired. Initial reports claim possible robbery gone awry. More to come.

It turns out that the old adage - espoused by many and believed by none - that money can't buy happiness has been debunked. A Harvard Professor  found that people who can afford things that are transient, "experiences" as she puts it are generally happier than those that cannot. People who spend freely on "Experiences" such as vacations, eating out with friends, visiting new friends who charge by the hour for their time... were generally happier than those who could only afford "things", such as food, shelter and the occasional Craigslist shopping spree that involves haggling a seller of a $30  watch down to $3.50. To quote: "Because experiences disappear, they let us make up a reality that was amazing and wonderful, and they make us happier," than stuff, Norton said. So in a sense what she really means here is that money can indeed buy happiness in ways that leave us delusional and perhaps borderline schizophrenic 

Well its certainly surprising to me to see Meek Mill still above ground breathing oxygen. I mean Tupac definitely was not Meek, but as is said, that the way the sh-t goes. Anyway I've been reading a lot of the back and forth tweets and I'll be damned if I can't make out half of what is said or who is even saying it: Meek Mill @MeekMill Stop comparing drake to me too…. He don’t write his own raps! That’s why he ain’t tweet my album because we found out! 6:46 AM – 22 Jul 2015 Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/2529995/nicki-minaj-and-bf-meek-mill-about-to-give-drake-a-major-headache/#ZAxFiQpylousQeQ3.99 There's: We really only focusing on making it out that’s the only war we fighting. I’m not entertaining no rap/real beef over drake s/o rapper! I can’t fall for the oldest trick in the book and I never shoulda entertained it bcuz it won’t bring me no money or success… Everybody know everybody watching and anything beyond what’s going on is stupid to b...